Thursday, June 6, 2013

Beyond my beyond...

I have chosen to not write much detail publicly about our second adoption, not because I want to but because due to the country we're working with, I need to be careful what I say-nonetheless there has been some amazing things that have happened with this adoption that are nothing less than complete divine intervention, and sometimes I think that people need to hear (or read) about those stories.

Let me back way up to the beginning, like we're talking Januaryish when we first found out about our little man, we felt a strong push from God that we were supposed to say YES but fear and doubt definitely made their way in..

We needed roughly another $18,000ish..

Fear of traveling to a country that is unstable, corrupt, and downright kinda scared me

Fear of the unknown

Life is full of scary stuff sometimes, and it would have been so easy to just simply say no. I don't think anyone would've questioned us. We were already in the middle of an adoption, we're young, we don't make a zillion dollars a year, blah blah blah. I'm sure people would've understood if we said no.

I remember telling Justin "I don't wanna end up in the belly of a whale like Jonah to learn a lesson because we said no.." you may laugh but it's true, when God tells you to do something, it's not a nice suggestion from's a do it.

So we said yes...

We had enough saved to cover the first agency expense and to pay for our updated homestudy

God had oversupplied for our needs (kinda His thing) well at least what I thought our needs were going to be

So we paid the first payments and went jolly on our way to continue walking forward..kind of in a fog...but still walking..

We had applied to a grant long before we heard about little man, even long before we had our Ethiopian adoption fully funded. I kinda forgot all about it.

Then one day (actually while I was in Rwanda) I got an email from the grant agency.  They had been reading our blog and learned that we had 1. been fully funded for Ethiopia and 2. that we had started another adoption.  They asked for more information on our second adoption, so I told them the story, as much as I was kind of like a "God told us to do it, so we're doing it" kind of an email.  Mind you, I typed this entire email on my phone while in Rwanda... ask me in person one day about some spelling mishaps I was crazy...I thought I blew it..let's just say with auto correct some crazy things can be typed wrong.

Ok so I sent off the email and went on my way.

The whole time I was praying but didn't tell a soul what number I was praying for. Not only was I praying that we'd get the grant, I was praying for a specific number.  I had never heard of anyone getting this grant amount, but I was still praying for it.

My prayer went something like "Dear God, we really need at least $4,500 to make the next payment, we can get creative after that but we have to make that payment soon to move forward..but it'd be wonderful to have $x amount (you thought I was gonna tell you the number, didn't you? I'm sly like that) but please just let us get $4,500.

Anyway, so we get back from Rwanda and our case worker calls me and says that she really needs the next payment, or we can't move forward. (remember we knew this was going to happen) I told her we don't have it, I was crying on the phone to her, then I called my husband and cried on the phone to him. I said maybe we weren't supposed to do this, what were we thinking?!

An email came through my inbox. Right I was crying to Justin..

From the grant agency

We'd had been given a grant to cover half our adoption expenses.

At the perfect time.

It was nothing short of God my friends, and typing the story gives me goosebumps again. I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe. Just standing staring at the email.

Confirmation. I felt like God was saying, "See, why did you only ask me for what you thought you needed? I know your needs"

I heard this example in a bible study I'm doing.

When you go to a restaurant and you find out that the bill is being taken care of by someone other than you, it changes the way to order right? 

You all know that's true, I know when we go out to dinner with my parents, I'm less likely to look at costs because I'm not paying...someone else is...

someone else paid..covered the costs..

I know that God can cover beyond what I ever could have imagined the beyond is, and He's giving us glimpses along the way in this journey.

I'm reminded that the same God who turned water into wine is the same God who is over the country our son is in, and although it's scary and's His country. Why am I so scared sometimes?

It's His, He's got it. And I'm trusting that as we get ready to sent all this paperwork off to a place that is kind of up in the air right now, He's got it. He'll take that paperwork where He thinks it needs to go at the times He wants it there.


Jenny Marrs said...

beautiful post, Steph!! I know exactly how you are feeling. I've been there. I am there most days actually. It's scary and unknown and a little crazy. But you're exactly right - God's got this. He does. I'm praying for your family!!!

Ferial Trammell said...

Praise the Lord!! I love hearing these stories of how He shows up and proves His faithfulness over and above what we could even dream. Rejoicing with you, my friend!! :)