When I found out last year I was pregnant with Charlotte, I thought about her even more. How did she learn she was pregnant? I knew she most likely did not have an ultrasound with a due date, and she probably did not get pictures of her tiny bean to hang on her fridge. When I found out I was pregnant, I was nervous, excited, scared-was she too? Did she have morning sickened (or as I liked to call it ALL day sickness?) What about cravings, did she have them? Probably not like mine (taco bell burritos thankyouverymuch).
Those first flutter kicks, did they bring excitement or fear of what was to come? As her belly grew, did she need to hide it? No one threw her a baby shower.
When the time came for him to be born, was she scared? Was anyone with her to hold her hand through the pain? She most likely did not deliver in a hospital, but where did she? How many days did she labor? Did he come early? Late? Right on time?
I wonder if she knows where he is now, does she know he's safe? Does she know how loved he is?
I will probably never meet her, but there I things I just know to be true. I'm sure she loves to dance, how could she not?! Look how much Jacob loves to dance! I know she is strong, I can just tell. I am sure she is beautiful, inside and out. I know she is brave.
This year, on birth mothers day, I am thankful for her. For her strength. I hope she knows in her heart how much we love the little boy she carried in her tummy. I pray she knows how much joy he brings us, and how silly he is. I hope she knows, he is going to do bigs things.
So today for her, we'll play a little longer, we'll be silly and eat doughnuts for breakfast and have a picnic in the living room for lunch and we'll race "motos" outside. And I'll think of her and smile and laugh for both of us.