On my heart...

For some time now, I have been wrestling with some deep issues, some yucky heart stuff that that's been changing who I am-it hasn't been easy, but it's been good. 

I thought about whether or not to share about what's been happening inside, knowing that being venerable can open up many doors-both bad and good.  It's not my goal to "change" the way others think by reading what I write, it's basically just things that I'm dealing with, and maybe someone else is dealing with them too, and reading this might help them too. 

When we started this journey of adoption, I wasn't who I am now, daily I'm changing, being challenged in many different ways. I felt the call to adopt several years before I even shared it with my husband, I kind of just put it in that "file for later" part of my brain, but it never really left. When we said yes to the call of adoption, there were things that we were presented with that I wasn't really prepared for, and still a lot of the time struggle with.  Knowing that there are 175 million orphaned children in the world alarms me.  That's global, not just Africa, not just China, India Russia or the US, globally, there are 175 million children without mothers and fathers. 175 million children who have no one to speak up for them, to make sure that they're safe, taken care of, warm and fed at night. There are over 1 billion people without access to clean drinking water.  I daily take for granted the accessibility I have to clean water...

There are times I lay awake at night and think about what I can do, I wonder what God's plan are for us, I know somethings in the works, I can feel it in my bones. There are days when I look at our house and think, what are you up to God? We have 3 "extra" bedrooms, we bought our house for a steal of a price knowing that it was way too big for us, but we got it even though several others were bidding on it too,  deep down, I know He's up to something...

God has slowly been changing my heart, towards Him and others.  This adoption journey is far from over, but I am SO thankful for what it's opened my eyes to, because now, it's my responsibility to share with others what I've learned and what I'm learning now. 

Just a glimpse of what's be happening in my heart, it's like a peaceful uneasiness, but I am learning a lot, and being stretched in ways I didn't think possible. It is good. 


I came across the verse below a few years ago, when God was preparing me for the journey we are on, it really stuck with me, and constantly challenges me. 

Rescue the perishing;
   don't hesitate to step in and help.
If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business,"
   will that get you off the hook?
Someone is watching you closely, you know—
   Someone not impressed with weak excuses

Proverbs 24:12, The Message

"Yahweh has remembered."

 Zechariah

"Yahweh has remembered."

For now, that is what we are planning to call our son.  We plan on keeping his Ethiopian name as his middle name to preserve his heritage. 

I have a feeling he will do great things, he will be a world changer. 

"Yahweh has remembered"

Three

Today marks 3 months waiting for sweet baby Z. Yes, yes he has a name. In a way, three months flew by, but another part seemed to drag on. It's funny, when you're physically pregnant, you know when "the end" is.  You kind of know when you can start to get the baby's room ready, when to have a baby shower, how much longer you have. With adoption, you kind of know, but not really, but kind of.  

We made a rule that we wouldn't start getting his room ready until we were DTE (dossier to Ethiopia. Side note..DTE is when your dossier (huge amount of paperwork) goes to Ethiopia. Once your paperwork is there is counted like 1 month DTE, 2 months DTE...until you get a referral) So now we're 3 months DTE.  We've gotten a few random things, but poor thing, his room has been a storage spot for the last year, so it needs some work (more like, I need to find a new place to store my craft supplies and junking finds)  But if you know me, you know I love to decorate and create, so I've of course been dreaming and planning (Unofficially ;) ), and I think it's time to get the ball rolling... 

Happy Saturday!

Nothing too new, and some Hume photos

I know I should do a better job at keeping this blog, everyday I think "I should write an update..or something..." Not much new around here (my sister just got back from a year in the UK, which is SO great) Summer is coming in an end, and I am welcoming the change.  We are changing seasons in our lives, not just literally (summer-fall) but figuratively. 

We have been so blessed so far in our adoption.  Not just financially, but through prayer and emotionally.  We have made new friends, gotten the chance to share about Jesus, had some not so good moments (ask Justin about his conversation at In-N-Out with a complete stranger who although uninvited, gave us her opinion about our adoption...) but all moments so far have grown us into the parents we will need to be, we are learning patience, wisdom and how to be sacrificial for our future child.  It's not easy all the time, but it's good. And it's just the beginning. 

We'll be 3 months DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) next week.  It isn't much, but it's something.  We're getting close to being fully funded. It's absolutely insane.  When we started this joinery, we didn't even have the money for the application fee, but God has provided, through the generosity of others, through an unimaginable grant from Show Hope, and through the diligence He's given us to be very strict with our own fiances. It's all God, not a bit has to do with us.  Looking at our monthly budget, I have no clue how we make it, but we always have what we need, and then some.  God has moved (and will continue to move) mountains.  And we are constantly in awe. 

Here's some photos from our recent trip to Hume Lake with the high school students.  It. was. amazing.  Probably the best Hume ever. I love Hume, it's one of my favorite places in the world. 

Love them all. 

(last photo thanks to Rachel Wurzbach, thanks Rach!!!)